Open Dialogue International Community Forum

Mothers of schizophrenics and eternal children

I read “Sanity, Madness and the Family” of Laing and an Internet forum on schizophrenia and in half a century, nothing has changed… Progressive experiences remain absolutely marginal, while psychiatry pursues its main objective imperturbably: help psychopathic families to control their children.

Mothers’ psychopathy is particularly encouraged by psychiatrists, as psychopathic mothers are excellent clients. They take their child to the doctor as a grandma would take her dog to the vet. It would not make sense for a dog to “refuse” his treatment, it is exactly the same for schizophrenics.

Mothers are the true clients of psychiatry. Schizophrenics are only the objects of psychiatry. Mothers buy neuroleptics for children, in order to children remain eternally at home like babies. This is what the pharmaceutical industry sells: eternal children.

Examples of “not-insane” mothers of schizophrenic families in France. The translation is as close as possible.

Mother 1: “It is unbearable each time they refuse and stop their treatment the sufferings and the deliriums leave again it is true that it is hard and long to emerge from the denial but it is only that to gain stability AT LIFE THE TREATMENT like for other chronic diseases Diabetes so dangerous etc etc. th injection is not enough working with a good psych and it is necessary the family often can no longer support this it is a drama because if we love them we crack courage and firmness Especially not consumption because th Alcohol and [cannabis] th is the long way 10 years disaster for my. Little son he restarts at 0 and tonight it could not come to share Christmas courage to you to you”

Hu? “if we love them we crack”

Mother 2: “SINCE 15 YEARS I FIGHT I have 2 sons sick every 2
It is a long tunnel with suffering and loneliness !!!
We must accept the disease and it is difficult for them … to tell them that the disease must be fought with the medicines we have … it is a
Cancer a cholesterol diabetes a schizophrenia etc …
Maybe at a time of life (50 years or more) we can stop if we have mastered the disease which itself weakens but when it is properly installed we must oppose a product to silence it constrain it AND GIVE US PEACE
To live good times again and meet yourself as much as you can”

Mother 2 continues like that during a very long time…

Mother 3’s response to a random woman who says that schizophrenia is curable and neuroleptics are poison:

Mother 3: “But who speaks of healing? You have your ideas personally I have mine and thank you for respecting others! Believe me that my son likes to be sick knowing perfectly that it is a disease to LIFE! No Madam ! But he is happy to live he made two BPD [Brief Psychotic Disorder] in 15 years has suffered much and he has no desire to relive difficult episodes of his past. Don’t come tell me what we already know”

Yeah, for this mother, her son “likes to be sick”: pretty lapsus…

Mother 4: “Since last night, I do not know where my son is! I had to submit two choices to him … either to get hospitalized and resume his treatment and admit that he is sick !!! Or I throw him out !!
I could no longer tolerate his violence …
How can I accept I had to leave my son on the street?
He does not want to be sick, take his treatment, to be cured, accept the disabled allowance Which has been awarded !!
He says he wants to fend for himself and to have a normal life.”

Here again, the schizophrenic “does not want to be sick” and want to “have a normal life”.

_ What a criminal thought! What does the thought police? Doctor, doctor! My 18 year little boy want to leave home!
_ Yes Ma’am, your son is totally sick, he is schizophrenic! I’ll give him some pills and he’ll be back like before, like when he was eight. I have a serious news to announce to you: it’s an incurable disease! Maybe in 50 YEARS he can stop his medicines… Indeed, The law forbids us to heal the dead in their graves. But maybe in the future we will find the source of schizophrenia in his brain (not in your family, of course). Then we’ll can design a TREATMENT (as for the flu). FOLLOW THE SCIENCE.
_ Thank you Doctor. How unhappy I am to hear you! I trust in you. As you say: FOLLOWING THE SCIENCE!

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Is this surprisong? I mean mothers in general are afraid to let their children go, even more so if they are labeled with a ‘chronic’ illness. On the other hand there is little knowledge and stories in the community regarding people who were once diagnosed or had some episodes yet managed to go on with their lives with or without treatment. How many statistics are there regarding people like that? how many books, movies or stories in the news. I don’t think it is the ‘ill mother’ to blame, it is the ‘ill society’ that should be altered. Just my thoughts regarding the post.

Ooh La La! I often get angry. Otherwise, you’re right, georgia-mylonaki.

There is plenty to be angry about!
One book with an encouraging story is “Dante’s Cure” by Daniel Dorman. Here’s the related website:

Daniel Dorman reminds me of Harold Searles (“The Effort to Drive the Other Person Crazy”, etc.).

Anger is a very complex emotion. It can have many sources, and also many targets.

Suppose a schizophrenic describes his mother in terms that prove that she is the cause of schizophrenia. You may feel anger at the mother. But in fact, the schizophrenic uses you to experience anger in his place, because he is not capable of experiencing anger himself against his mother. Then he describes to you a horrible mother in a tone without any emotion.

Later, the schizophrenic submits completely to his mother. Then you experience anger not against the mother, but against the schizophrenic, who has “betrayed” you.

What is your place in all this? How could you actually help? It is not easy.

Mrs X. is in love with Mr X., who suffers from delirium and alcoholism. She complains that the neuroleptic prescribed to him doesn’t work. She is very isolated and feels excluded from “normal” and “disease-free” people. Someone offers her to join an association. Here’s what she answers:

I already have a psychiatrist who deals with me but not [an association]. I cannot, because my boyfriend does not like to know that I talk to a psychiatrist, then [an association]… He suspects that I talk about him and his disease because he often asks me the question with anxiety. After, talking [to the others], it gets into trouble. I paid for this three weeks ago, because I confided in his nurse to confirm that the xeplion [neuroleptic] did not suit him, just after he went to the hospital. I explained his crises of delusions to the nurse and what I thought of his illness by giving the right medical terms as “schizophasia” or “denial”. And I asked her that my boyfriend would not know I spoke to her, if she spoke about this to his psychiatrist. And she talked to his psychiatrist who told to my boyfriend that I had spoken and she had written a report. Although I asked her to keep this interview confidential and I didn’t want he know what I had confided to the nurse, she gave his word that he would know nothing, and I was betrayed by his psychiatrist.

Imagine my discomfort when it is my boyfriend himself who told me “the day I went to the hospital you talked to the nurse and then my psychiatrist made a written report, she told me that” I felt very bad for my couple. It is enough that his stupid psychiatrist read to him the contents of this report of which I do not know what is written in, and my buddy will feel betrayed or very badly. Because of my trust and confidence.

The reaction of people was very bizarre.

A person said that the principle of psychiatry is “transparency”, that when you confide in a nurse, it is normal for the information to circulate quite widely, even if you asked for secrecy. Then the same person advised Mrs. X to play sports.

Another person told Ms. X that medical confidentiality was only valid for the patient, not for the family. Everything the family tells a nurse, a psychiatrist can repeat, he is not in the wrong. Then, this person said that Ms. X should consider herself “lucky”, if the psychiatrist agreed to change the treatment of Mr. X.

Then Ms. X collapsed.

She said that for months she had not talked to her companion about her fears, that she was speaking to no one, and that she hoped to be able to talk to a nurse in total confidentiality. She was so afraid that her companion knew what she was feeling, she was so distressed by what he could think of her and the mistrust that could settle.

And as soon as she tried to speak, the psychiatrist denounced her to his companion.

Now Mrs. X does not want to have any contact with the care team of Mr. X.; more than ever, she doesn’t want to talk to anyone in “reality” (that is to say: outside the Internet).